I have a big chin, an expansive forehead, and that forehead looks even bigger because I’m bald. You could say that I’m mostly forehead and chin...and scalp.
I can deny or argue this unflattering picture, or I can embrace it. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but denying and arguing take a lot of energy. Energy I can apply to something more positive. Pragmatically, it just doesn’t make sense to deny what is so obviously there.
Once we start willfully denying truths about ourselves, we risk missing our positive aspects as much as our negative ones. We also miss that no matter how embarrassed we might be by a trait, the world already knows. In fact, they know it better than we do because they actually see us.
Think about it. In this very moment, how much of your body can you see? If you’re reading this on a mobile device, it might just be your thumbs and part of your hands. If you have exceptional peripheral vision you might be aware of your forearms or knees, but not much else. Now, think about how much the people in your life see of you. Freaky, yes?
Based on who is observing your contributions the most, who should we believe? Forget the input of people who you know don’t mean you well or are bringing you down. They have their own issues. But it might be worth giving more weight to your supporters. Chances are good they get a more complete and reliable picture of you. This is especially important when you’re feeling insecure, because the voices in your head can’t see you at all!
Of course, any focus on how we appear is a stand-in for how we show up in life and the impact we have. It’s here that the input and perception calibration of others is essential to measuring our relevance, and making sure that we contribute our best work.
And let’s face it, I rocked that hoop earring. What are you rocking?